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Joke of the Day

"A patient said to a psychiatrist, ""I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint."" The psychiatrist said, ""Sounds like you have a gilt complex."""

"Why has Hillary Clinton ask Santa for a 23 letter alphabet? Because she's sick of F.B.I"

"Gay dude was reading a holiday brochure then he tells his partner, ""This year we should try Greece."" His partner looks up and ask him. ""Whts wrong with the Vaseline?"""

"You say you can quit drinking whenever you want... ...but I bet you can't go more than two or three days without water."

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to die without knowing what 95% of a scientific calculator is used for."

"DR: Are you sexually active? ME: Very DR: Eating donuts alone in your car doesn't count ME: Still yes DR: Neither do croissants ME: Then no"

"It's a boy! ""It's a boy"", Jimbo shouted, ""It's a BOY!"" With tears rolling down his eyes, Jimbo came running out of the room. And never returned to Bangkok again."

"What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? ""Robin, get into the Batmobile..."""

"What do you call an egg that always gets picked on? The butt of every yolk :("

"In case of emergency, exits can be located at the log out, delete, deactivate, hide and block features. Thank you for flying with Facebook"