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Joke of the Day

"A patient said to a psychiatrist, ""I keep wanting to cover myself in gold paint."" The psychiatrist said, ""Sounds like you have a gilt complex."""

"A redneck broke up with his girlfriend it wasn't all that bad, she said they could still be cousins."

"Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars"

"The bad news is I don't know what I'm doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap."

"I have hit the age where sex and choosing the exact right size Tupperware for leftovers are equally satisfying."

"I'm taking part in the Hillsborough triathlon today! Football, squash, and fencing."

"What do you call a group of Pigeons and Chickens? A Coo Clucks Clan"

"It's a shame that Samsung cancelled production of the Note 7... but at least they went out with a bang."

"There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't."

"I told my son about the birds and the bees... He told me about my wife and the mail man. I get no respect"