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Joke of the Day

"It sucks when you get to work early but then shit for so long that your boss thinks you came in late. I need a ""I'm Here But Shitting"" sign."

"A magician was driving down the road. He turned into a driveway!"

"How can you tell if someone is vegan? They'll fucking tell you!"

"Where do you get frogs eggs ? At the spawn shop !"

"Ways to win my heart: 1) Be cute 2) Be kind 3) Be cheesecake"

"50% of analysis is... anal."

"I can't tell if my baby is a slow clapper or is starting a slow clap to mock my parenting."

"Why is the ocean salty? Because the land doesn't wave back."

"I see the joke your dad told you, and raise you my dads dumb ass joke What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty, deer nuts are under a buck!"

"It's not a ""junk drawer,"" it's a free-spirited drawer without expectations or limits."