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Joke of the Day

"Reporter 1: see Argentina needs to score here because if not they lose Reporter 2: so true jon. So true"

"How can you tell what clan a Scottish man is from? Look under his kilt and if he has a quarter pounder then he is a McDonald."

"BREAKING NEWS: Scientists sneak up on Periodic Table, add element of Surprise"

"Whisper out to librarians!"

"[At the Rumble] her *aggressively taking off earrings and heels* me *desperately trying to find somewhere to set down my ice cream cone*"

"There are two types of people in this world :) and (:"

"What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar The bartender says to the grasshopper ""You know, we have a drink named after you."" To which the grasshopper responds ""You have a drink named Pete?"""

"How does a nice guy change a light bulb? He doesn't. He just compliments it and then gets pissed when it won't screw."

"What does your mom and a 4-stroke engine have in common? They're both usually busy doing one of the following: sucking, squeezing, banging, blowing."