71380

Joke of the Day

"ME: Who do you want to be at my Frozen-themed party? FRIEND: Let me be Olaf or Elsa ME: Ok but never threaten me in an Italian accent again"

"I'm against picketing. I'm just not sure how to show it..."

"Doctor in lab coat peers into microscope. ""Good Lord!"" he says. ""His burrito levels are off the charts!"" - from my autopsy"

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex, but my girlfriend insists it's for my dyslexia"

"How do you get three old ladies to say the ""F"" word? Yell ""BINGO!"""

"Who runs the 100 acre wood website? www.innie the pooh."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."" ""Oh my god honey, what happened?"" ""I reposted the same goddamn joke too many times."""

"The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him ""Bambi."" nnShe deserved what she got for that."

"What cooks better than women? Jews."

"What do you call a couple of asses standing next to eachother in an asparagus field? An ass-pair, I guess?"