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Joke of the Day

"A bird pooped on my head today...Am I gonna die? I mean, I'm kinda worried about getting sick from it but mostly I hope this made someone's day."

"What do you call an 83 year old black man? Dick Gregory"

"If you're feeling bored, find a group photo of 4 girls on Instagram, and then comment, ""You 3 look great!"" Magic will happen afterwards..."

"I was so bored earlier I made a belt out of watches. It was a complete waist of time."

"To all those telling me this account is a sin - Don't worry about it, I plan on forgiving myself later"

"I like to call my dick Metapod.... Cuz all it does is harden"

"Do you remember Buckwheat from the little rascals? He recently converted to Islam. And became Kareem of Wheat."

"I've been trying to sell my child to any house that will take her. I'm a daughter door salesman."

"The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don't want anymore children living on our street."

"Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture."