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Joke of the Day

"Everything anew I went home yesterday to find all my furniture replaced.I asked my roommate ""What the hell"" and he replied ""Who are you""."

"Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation? Even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it."

"Kid: Mommy's last name must be ""Honey"" cuz that's what daddy calls her Teacher: That's SWEET. What's her first name? Kid: ""Sorry,"" I think"

"There's no ""i"" in ""team"" but there are like millions of other words with ""i"" in them so what's the big deal about ""team"" anyway?"

"What did the drowning number theorist say? logloglogloglogloglogloglogloglog"

"What did one snowman say to the other? Smells like carrots"

"A Geeky One Why would The Doctor and Storm get along? Because he is the heart of the storm."

"How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short."

"Live tweeting from Sunday Mass! We're sitting. Now standing. Sitting. Sorry, should've been kneeling. Shit, that was embarrassing."

"What's the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face"