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Joke of the Day
"What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common? Neither can achieve an election"
Next Joke
"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once."
"Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange."
"What's a good Mexican joke?"
"White woman has a baby with a black guy.... And she becomes a single mom."
"I just punched what I thought was a paparazzi with a long lens. It was an old man with a wheat bread sub. Sorry."
"I just got diagnosed with the inability to feel emotions Now I'm sad"
"[on date pretending not to be a dung beetle] Date: What's your favourite meal? Me: Poop Date: What? Me: SOUP, I like eating soup"
"What's the mass of a large chunk of tree? 10g"
"If you're wondering what all these scratches on my chest are from, it's because my cat hates to get in the hot tub with me."