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Joke of the Day
"So, I Robbed a Bank Last Week Disguised as a Muppet, It was the First Time I Kermit-ted a Crime"
Next Joke
"I feel bad for people who suck at simulations. You can say, for them, i feel... Sim-pathetic! (Ba-dum-tuss)"
"Oh look! A guy with ""Stand-Up Comic"" in his bio unfollowed me two seconds after I followed back. That's never happened before."
"What did the leper say to the hooker? ""Keep the tip."""
"""Errors in pronunciation eventually become part of the language if used widely enough over a long period of time"" linguists, supposably"
"Spiderman's villain should just be a glass jar and a piece of paper."
"What do you call a Children's show with some Alcohol added in? Booze Clues."
"I was just at the beach and heard someone yell ""Help! Shark!"" I am pretty sure that shark wasn't going to help him..."
"Cat: Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk... [ *Coughs up hairball* ] Dog: You gonna eat that?"
"Don't Drake and drive or you'll end up at your ex's house."