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Joke of the Day

"My son was kicked out of school when a girl came in and wanked him off... I said, ""Son, that's 3 schools already... Maybe teaching isn't for you."""

"Tarzan walk into his wife making dolma.. He then shouts: How many times I told you not to touch my underwear?!?!"

"My girlfriend is a pornstar She will kill me if she finds out. Edit: Holy poop, front page of reddit mum get the camera"

"The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score."

"If you told Alexander Hamilton that the online lottery to see his rap musical was unavailable due to server overload, he'd be like, ""WITCH!"""

"A one-legged and a blind man are arguing The one-legged man says: ""I'm gonna kick your ass!"". The blind man replies: ""Sure, I'd like to see that!"""

"What does a buff zombie want? Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss."

"Oliver Twist: ""Please sir, I want some more!?"" Manger: ""Kid, you do realize this is a buffet?"""

"Question: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Answer: ""Leave it to Beaver."""

"When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it's perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach's."