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Joke of the Day

"If you told Alexander Hamilton that the online lottery to see his rap musical was unavailable due to server overload, he'd be like, ""WITCH!"""

"Where do midget terrorists live? Halfghanistan."

"Canada is not a vast empty woodland. Our monetary system proves our civility. 5 beavers is worth a caribou 4 caribous are worth a loon And 2 loons are worth a polar bear."

"Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some shit for Farmville."

"I saw a viral video today. It taught me a lot about STDs."

"What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat."

"There were two snowmen standing in a field, one says to the other... Can you smell Carrots?"

"No evidence is good enough for a Creationist... But no evidence is good enough for a Creationist."

"Why did the firefly keep stealing things ? What goes ""snap crackle and pop"" ? A firefly with a short circuit !"

"What type of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers."