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Joke of the Day

"What do people with two left feet wear? Flip flips"

"I'd like to teach the world to sing. And while everyone's busy, I'd go watch a movie without people talking through it."

"Whenever someone dies they always tell me God called them home so that's why I'll never give Jesus my real phone number."

"Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach? Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan."

"If you hold the door open for me when I'm more than ten feet away, you aren't doing me a favor. You're making me exercise."

"Did you hear about the storm down at the docks last weekend? You didn't? It was breaking canoes."

"If someone gossips to you, you can bet they also gossip about you..."

"Joke: In my intro to archaeology lab, I had a pop-quiz about bones in the human body I couldn't find that humerus either"

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves."

"Oprah and Hilary have a backup plan if trump wins The catcher in the rye is going to be featured in Oprah's book club"