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Joke of the Day

"My kids are always accusing me of having a 'favourite kid' Which is ridiculous as I don't like any of them. -Danny Zuker"

"The only thing I know about Downton Abbey is that everyone looks as if they smell like the bottom of my Nana's purse."

"How does a police officer go to the bathroom? Ctrl+C"

"what was adam's nickname for eve? prime rib"

"Sometimes when I'm drunk, I put on a trench coat, lurk around the shadows and pretend I'm the host from Unsolved Mysteries"

"Why is all the racism in America downstairs? That's where we keep them chained up."

"I won't believe corporations are people Until Texas executes one."

"I didn't say you were ugly, I just said you were facially challenged."

"I told this guy I was arguing with if he stepped one more step closer I would hit him in the face, but he kept walking right to me. I guess he didn't understand the punchline."

"Cyclists want to be treated like motorists until there's a red light. Then all of a sudden they're pedestrians."