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Joke of the Day

"Jurassic World is so unrealistic. Like a teenager would ever just drop his cell phone while being chased by a dinosaur."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it! How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way!"

"I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you."

"What did they call the suave printer salesman? Prints Charming"

"Opening a store called The Gorp! It's exactly like The Gap except we sell gravy."

"Walk into a bar dressed as a bunny rabbit. Punch the first person who says something to you. You're a wild animal."

"A Psychic punches a blind man. The blind man didn't see it coming, but the psychic did."

"Two muffins are sitting in the oven. When one muffin leans over to the other and says, ""boy it sure it's hot in here."" To which the other muffin responds, ""holy shit a talking muffin!"""

"""I'll Knock You Into Next Week"" have black mothers invented time travel? Details at 11. #ABCReports"

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Squarepants"