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Joke of the Day

"Jurassic World is so unrealistic. Like a teenager would ever just drop his cell phone while being chased by a dinosaur."

"THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes."

"Why aren't there any black people in the Air Force? They're still afraid of hangars."

"Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic... ...and so am I."

"I spend half of my time thinking about fractions Well, not exactly half...."

"Autocorrect changed ""meeting"" to ""mating"" and now my boss and I aren't meeting with Bob after work."

"How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree."

"What's a nymphomaniac cook's least favourite ingredient? Italian dressing"

"A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."" ~~~ So he pays for his meal and asks for his change. The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, ""Change comes from within."""

"Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. ~Menstruational Tweet"