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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear what happened to Lithium? He was arrested for battery charges. Some say he's bi-polar."

"Why is the number 6 always angry? Because 789"

"Yeah sex is great, but have you ever rubbed your eyes for a really long time? O. M. G."

"Hear about the state-of-the-art amputation device? All I know is it's pretty cutting edge..."

"Never make plans with an executioner. They always leave you hanging. Or cut your head off or something like that"

"Did you hear about the guy born with 5 dicks? His pants fit like a glove."

"Whenever It Rains, My Wife Just Stands At The Window Looking Kind Of Sad Maybe I Should Let Her In"

"My dad's addicted to christmas dinner But he's been cold turkey every meal since."

"What do you call a condensed version of the history of ISIS? CaliphNotes!"

"What is the difference between Will Smith and Scotland ? Independence Day"