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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that free-range astrophysicist buffalo? His name was Neil. Neil da Grass-fed Bison."

"1. Loan someone a pocket knife. 2. Take it back by wrapping it in a rag. 3. Explain you need a knife with someone else's prints on it."

"I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger."

"Where does the cynic go to pray The Cynicgogue"

"Nobody Likes This. I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."

"Wanna hear a joke?"

"My son would've been 4 yo today Man 1: My son would've been 4 yo today Man 2: Oh, I'm sorry man. What happened? Man 1: I pulled out."

"Why was Kunta Kinte such a renowned philosopher? He pondered the question ""Toby, or not Toby?"""

"I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure."

"What's the best hour to book a dental appointment? Tooth hurty."