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Joke of the Day

"Having a crush on someone is like solving a math problem. If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it."

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"How many bottles of beer does it take to kill someone? One, if you throw it hard enough."
"What do you call a secret agent running for the bus? A Russian spy."
"Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn't even strong enough to push a child out of my way."
"Why are sewer covers called manholes? If they were called womanholes, guys would keep trying to get in."
"Why are the developers of NoMansSky called Hellogames? Because you never get a goodbuy from them"
"I hate self-promotional people. They're so into themselves they probably don't even realize I have a new album available on iTunes now"
"I heard someone got shocked by their Ford... that must stang."
"Why did the toilet make a joke about the balls? It was low hanging fruit."
"If your phone auto corrects ""fuck"" to ""duck,"" it's okay to keep it... It's still fowl language."