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Joke of the Day

"I just bought condoms. The cashier asked if I needed a bag. I just said ""No, she isn't that ugly"""

"Some people say I'm apathetic but I don't care what anyone thinks."

"NEWS ANCHOR: Here's Gary with day 1 of his outdoor summer weather report. GARY: [frying an egg on the sidewalk] I quit. Back to you, John."

"What's a joke? My life..."

"My eyes physically can't roll any higher up into my skull to show you how annoying you are."

"Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard...."

"Spiders: Nature's reminder that you are, in fact, a little girl."

"So an elf walked into a bar... The hobbit laughed and walked under it."

"Someone asked Russell Wilson if he wanted to win the Super Bowl. He said he would pass."

"Going to war is the only way Americans can learn geography."