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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend doesn't believe in labels, which is probably why he drank all that bleach"

"Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed? Cause the building collapsed, duh."

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs after a house fire? Stephen Hawking's"

"Why did Johnny cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in a chicken."

"I consider myself a dog person I love ass in my face"

"A sodium atom undergoes a vigorous reaction with flourine... How do you feel?"" Asks the fluoride ion. ""Positively shell shocked"" the sodium ion replied."

"Dear messed-up memory, please tell me where are my keys instead of reminding me that shit I did on May 08, 2002 at 09;13;54 PM."

"Just stabbed my uterus with a tampon."

"What's the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw? You can tune a chainsaw."

"Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier at 7-11 last night. Hope I don't catch slurpees."