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Joke of the Day
"The fact that belly buttons aren't blowholes is fucking stupid."
Next Joke
"What do you say to a Jewish New Zealander? Hee brew"
"If Trump wins on Nov. 8th.... will his wife be called ""The Third Lady""?"
"I've been developing a photographic memory."
"If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo."
"Mama said there'd be days like this, and also ""knock you out"" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk."
"Asking a girl to the barbecue. Me: ""You going to the barbecue?"" Her: ""What barbecue?"" Me: ""The one where I stick my meat on your grill."""
"What do you call a horny dog??? Nothing. So he doesn't come..."
"A horse walks into a bar... and the bartender says, ""Hey look everybody! Sarah Jessica Parker is in the house!"""
"these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy"