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Joke of the Day

"[dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend"

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"I remember the first time I used a Universal Remote Control I thought to myself: ""Well, this changes everything."""
"Kid 1: I'm bored Kid 2: me too Kid 3: our parents gave us horrible names"
"My bike wheel really surprised me the other day. It spoke"
"Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !"
"Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse."
"I see, it's all coming back to me now... Said the blind man as he pissed into the wind."
"What Pokemon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro? Zikachu."
"Some say English is tough... Some say English is tough, it can be understood through thorough thought though."
"What did one bag of shit say to the other bag of shit? ""Ugh, stop standing so colostomy."""