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Joke of the Day

"After watching a strongman competition... it amazed me to see how much the human body can lift without pooing itself."

"Pickpocketing rates are so high in Barcelona, after browsing Street View my PayPal account got emptied."

"Sad that 25 years ago Homer Simpson seemed like a looser in American culture and now it's like: ""Whoa...that guy has a job AND owns a home?"""

"My friend can only masturbate when he listens to really bad music. Beats off."

"How do you drown a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole."

"Beer nuts $1:50 Deer nuts under a buck"

"What do you call a pig with good table manners? Sick."

"Why didn't the coast guard save the hippy? He was too far out!"

"How many cops does it take to push a Black person down the stairs? None. He *fell*...."

"What an Idea..!!! My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory. Why didn't I think of that?"