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Joke of the Day

"Our credit card was stolen but I decided not to report it .... The thief is spending less than my wife did."

"""What're you in for?"" ""I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it."" ""We've all been there, brother."""

"Whoever invented ""knock knock"" jokes Should get a ""no-bell"" prize."

"How do u get a pool table to laugh? tickle its balls."

"Asking your mom, ""Will there be any pretty girls coming?"" Is a good way of getting out of going to your family reunion.."

"*man gets run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry* *policeman informs family* ""There's no easy way to say this""..."

"[during dinner on a date] ""I'm currently in university"" how long is your degree? ""normally a year, but I have dial up, so probably 2"""

"Someday astronauts will land on the sun .... Im hoping they're smart enough to do this at nighttime when it's not as hot"

"The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called ""15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions. We Love You Brittani!"""

"During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere... I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!"