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Joke of the Day
"What were Nazi turkeys forced to do each Thanksgiving? Goebel Goebbels."
Next Joke
"A man wanted me to engage in necrophilia... NSFW I told him to drop dead"
"What, like you never stole 2000 loaves of bread on a dare? Shit happens. Look, Grandma, can you bail me out or not?"
"This Tweet has been a test of the Emergency Procrastination System."
"George Bush repeatedly tries to crack a coconut on the side of a hot skillet ""Laura, I told you not to buy the god damn hairy eggs anymore"""
"we call em houseplants like thats where they belong but its just where we put em thats like if u threw me in the sewer & called me sewer boy"
"I won every fight in 1st grade. Not because I was tough, because I was 13."
"Knock, knock, Come in."
"I instantly feel horrible when I judge someone, so I stopped. Now I make rational conclusions based on insightful observations."
"A Mexican man contended in the Olympics He won a gold medal in the ""Jump and run"" event."