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Joke of the Day

"A guy walks into a bar and asks ""Do you serve lawyers?"" The bartender responds ""Yes, of course!"" The man then says ""Well then. I'll have a beer for myself and a lawyer for my alligator."""

"A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom he needs Viagra. The mom asks, ""Why on earth do you need that?"" The little boy replies, ""isn't that what you give dad when HIS shit won't get hard?!"""

"Shirts that say SWAG and YOLO for sale at Walmart. Because dressing like an idiot should be affordable."

"Why does MLK only get one day, while sharks get an entire week? I guess it's because they're great whites..."

"I'm not a liar. I have an English degree; I'm an unreliable narrator."

"If I had to eat a person I guess I would prefer a vegetarian. I like irony and prefer grass fed beef."

"Captain America Civil War Joke. What's War Machines favorite dance move? The Crawlington"

"what do you call it when a prostitute cries while having sex hormones"

"New healthcare plan in case Obamacare is defunded: the entire country pays for hospital bills by cooking meth."

"I can't understand the critics saying that only an idiot would like that television program. I really enjoyed it."