68567

Joke of the Day

"[text] 11:56 pm Her: whatcha doin? Me: taking a shit 12:03 am Her: whatcha doin now? Me: same shit different day"

"Tried to catch fog the other day... Mist"

"A skeleton walks into a bar Tells the bartender, ""Gimme a beer and a mop."""

"*builds time machine* *goes back in time 183 days* *earth is on the other side of the sun* *dies in space*"

"My mother-in-law said that we should stay an extra day if it's too snowy to drive. SOMEONE LEND ME A SALT TRUCK."

"The company that makes the Opera browser have asked Sir Patrick Stewart to redesign their logo They want him to make its O."

"*cute bartender gives me back my credit card* ""No it's cool, you keep it"""

"Jewish football What's the worst part about having an all Jewish football team? You have to replace the whole team every time they take a shower"

"How to make a woman crazy in two steps: 1. Take a picture of her 2. Don't show her the picture"

"A calculus joke... Person 1: What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin? Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!"