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Joke of the Day

"Why did Jon Snow become a spokesman for Rolex? For the time piece."

"A blonde was attempting to swim across the English channel. But she got tired halfway, and swam back."

"Why does the ocean have water? Because the sky is *blue*"

"An apple a day keeps no one away unless you have meticulously good aim."

"Q: How do spies send secret messages in a forest? A: By moss code."

"Cremation My last chance at a smoking hot body"

"There's only one thing I love more than bacon ...and I can't put pussy in my mashed potatoes."

"""I'm gonna die. What is happening. Whaaa-ooahh actually that's not bad"" - first guy to poop"

"Yes, I said I was sorry and that I'd do anything to win you back. But that was before you told me you needed a ride to the airport at 5am."

"This one time, I went to prison, but I got out without a scratch- I beat off all the other prisoners"