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Joke of the Day

"John was hard at work with the broom in his family's tent. His mother came in and said 'That's nice. Are you sweeping out the tent?' 'No' John answered. 'I'm sweeping out the dirt.'"

"I just have a step ladder I never knew my real ladder"

"A lot of people say that alt-right would be good for America. I'll try it if Ctrl-alt-delete doesn't work."

"Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my soul...to keep... If I shall die before I wake-- Yah, I really don't like where this is going."

"Why was the sand wet? Because the sea weed"

"NSFW:Guy's should hold on to their memories. Guy's should hold on to their memories. Stupid Auto Correct: I meant mammaries."

"Why did the doctor toss his patient down a well? He tried to kill them."

"Baby, I hope you are an ISO file cuz I wanna mount you."

"""Roses are red, violets are blue, fuck you whore."""

"I smoke pot because I have a very serious problem. I have this medical condition where I don't realize how good poptarts taste. Source: Sarah Silverman"