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Joke of the Day
"What's the opposite of pro? Con. So what's the opposite of progress?"
Next Joke
"I see your eight-year-old joke and raise you my nine-year-old joke. Why didn't the bullet have a job? It got fired."
"What did Helen Keller's mom say would happen if she didn't stop fingering herself? She'd start talking dirty."
"Cottonballs is a great example of something I would buy but not want as a nickname. Cinnamon buns, however... Credit Dymitri Martin."
"Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)"
"When you have to deliver bad news, always lead with something worse: ""Honey, our cat died. Just kidding! But, I forgot to buy cat food."""
"Best Deal Ever My wife said she'll divorce me if I get I phone 6S Rose gold. That's the deal.."
"Hungarian mom yells at her son: ""Take off your underwear... ...and put it back on properly: Yellow front, brown back."""
"All your responses must be oral, okay? Q: ""What school did you go to?"" A: ""Oral."""
"That's shocking!! Hold on. *quickly draws overly arched eyebrows* Ok. Go on."