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Joke of the Day

"Did you see the Broadway musical about the dictionary? It's a play on words."

"If a man thinks blondes have the best butts... ...and the verifies this by only watching blondes walk around, is he guilty of Confirmation By-Ass?"

"A boob job sounds like the best job in the world."

"What's the difference between a muffin and a jew? a muffin doesn't scream when you put it in an oven."

"ME: [waking up from nap] HER: *looking angry* when i said i wanted to sleep with you this isn't what i meant"

"What do you do with an epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad"

"Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones."

"County lockup has been a lot more fun since they started giving out temporary prison tattoos."

"What do you call a homeless orphan? Depressing"

"We don't serve time machines A Time machine walks into a bar"