6758

Joke of the Day

"I bet a lot of people have tried that ""See you next year!"" joke at the end of December but got proven wrong by dying in a DUI."

"When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul."

"I love how Simba acts upset when Mufasa dies as if he didn't just do a choreographed musical number called ""I Just Can't Wait To Be King""."

"I wish cartoons would have prepared me for working and doing taxes instead of, like, quicksand"

"Today, I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a wall. As he turned and sneered at me, I thought: 'that's a little condescending'."

"Which is the most common font i Mexico? El Vetica."

"What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo? About halfway across."

"The winners write the history books... I guess the prize for winning is a boring-ass job?"

"Douce! The sound of a water balloon hitting a ""Trick Or Treater"" square in the face. Now try and have a Happy Halloween."

"Even death can't get you out of the friend zone... she'll be at your funeral like ""he was like a brother to me"""