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Joke of the Day

"Physics Joke I tried having a threeway with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem"

"For me, getting girls is like spreading butter... It's much easier with a knife."

"Why couldn't Beethoven find his music teacher? He was Haydn"

"What do you call a Pediatrist speeding in Michigan Lead foot"

"Don't give a man a fish. Teach a man to fish. Then sue that man for fishing on your property."

"What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist? Willing suspension of disbelief."

"I was watching tv with my mom & she was amazed a blind guy didn't care his son was missing & I was like outta sight outta mind am I right"

"Matthew McMonaughey's Lincoln doesn't make left turns... It just goes all right, all right, all right."

"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."

"Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby? ... Stealing candy from a dead baby."