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Joke of the Day

"[doctors exam] ""I'm feeling a lump here. Here's another. You have several lumps."" -uh oh, what does that mean doc? ""it means you're fat"""

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you."

"Where do poor Italians live? In the spaghetto..."

"you know how when geese migrate in a v shape, sometimes one side of the v is longer - Do you know why? more geese"

"What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter? 'w'"

"Q: Why would you take a hammer to bed? A: So you could hit the sack."

"My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe."

"We're pregnant? Why stop there couples? Why not we're constipated? Or we're on our period? Or we're disgustingly phony in public together?"

"while memes are a great gateway to wasting your life away online,, they're not for everyone . ask your doctor if memes are right for you"

"yo mama so fat she sat on a tractor and made it a pick-up truck."