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Joke of the Day

"is the ultimate american drug watching an entire season of a tv show at once or getting married so you don't have to die alone?"

"What's black and screams like fuck? Stevie Wonder answering the iron."

"I just drove in from a Transformers convention... ... and boy, are my arms tires!"

"What did the Elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe out of that little thing?"

"Do you why I never excel during a meeting? Because I use powerpoint for my presentation, of course."

"Went to a hot dog convention hoping to meet some women but it turned out to be a sausage fest"

"If there was a way to read a woman's mind...I'm still not sure I'd want too...I hate shoes, shopping, gossip & I already know I'm annoying."

"I'm not sure about you guys, but I'm pretty sure if she can sell seashells by the sea shore, she also has pretty big boobs."

"Officer: have you been drinking? Me: no sir 0: you were swerving M: Twitter O: oh, I'm on Twitter what's your handle M: yes, I was drinking"

"What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow? Total Eclipse of a Fart"