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Joke of the Day

"Don't trust an atom... They make up everything."

"What is green and has 4 wheels? Grass... I lied about the wheels"

"If you want to touch the sky... Fuck a duck and you will fly! (I don' know who is credited with first saying this time-honored literary pearl.)"

"A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said ""Look Mom! No Hans!"""

"I planned on watching the super bowl tomorrow, but... My inflatable couch doesn't have enough air in it."

"Have a jewish friend who likes to make drinks. I have a Jewish friend who likes to make drinks. Hebrews them. Sorry if you expected a Jewish world war 2 joke, but I'm burnt out on those."

"You know the Amish are people of simple values but did you know they are some of the most sexual people? .... It's true, their women require at least 2 Mennonite!"

"What do vegan zombies crave? GRRAAAAINS!!"

"Two hookers talking. One ask the other. Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz? To which the other replies No, but I've been swung around by the tits."

"I love my lungs... ...they have a place very close to my heart."