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Joke of the Day

"Bad news, guys. Throwing a cat through a wall doesn't make a funny, cat-shaped hole. Not even close."

"How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray..."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus"

"Apparently, the words ""I'd still hit it"" are words best kept to yourself at a funeral"

"A Joke I Thought Up in Stats Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%? It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!"

"Interviewer: do you have any final questions? Me: HYPOTHETICALLY, what happens to people who drink on their lunch breaks?"

"hunting for meat is a fun, important life skill. all you have to do is find a smaller animal and bite it until it is dead"

"My left butt cheek was hurting pretty bad earlier, so I asked my girlfriend to massage it for me. I told her... that I didn't want it half-assed."

"I was fired my first day on the job as a food vendor at the ballpark. A man ordered a corn dog from me. He was not pleased when I returned from the pet store 20 minutes later with his new husky."

"Who was the winner of the first Tour De France? The Wehrmacht Tank division."