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Joke of the Day
"I decided to sell my vacuum... It was just collecting dust."
Next Joke
"Ex girlfriends are like a box of chocolates. They'll kill your dog."
"I was about to tell a hilarious joke about chemistry.. ..but last time I did, I couldn't handle the reactions."
"Whenever I meet a guy named Paul, I ask if it's short for Paula, then I laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & laugh & making friends is hard. :("
"Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm? A: E-I-E-I-O."
"[After date, walking her to her door] Her: Thanks. I would invite you in, but I don't want to."
"Did you hear the news about half-life 3 Me neither"
"So I hear there is going to be a sequel to Lawrence of Arabia It's going to be called Lawrence of Two Rabias."
"Autocorrect wants to capitalize bacon, out of respect."
"Hey Ray Rice... What do you tell a fiance with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice."