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Joke of the Day
"I decided to sell my vacuum... It was just collecting dust."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Jamaican who likes spaghetti? A Pastafarian."
"It's not that I'm suicidal but jumping off a building onto a trampoline held by firemen sounds like so much fun."
"MUGGER: give me ur wallet ME: stand back i have mace MUGGER: [sniffing] is this cookies-scented febreze"
"How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace's bath robe? #GrammysRedCarpet"
"A Jewish boy asks his father for 50 bucks. What the hell are you going to do with 30 dollars? Why do you want 10 dollars?"
"ME: Ugh hate summer when bees are flying everywhere BEE [angrily undoing seatbelt on plane] I'm gonna sting him BEE WIFE:Just leave it David"
"Question : if you fart at the gym can people wearing headphones still smell it? Asking for a friend"
"Im getting tired of the book ""Life of Pi."" It never ends."
"I definitely thought I would have shot the lock off of something by now in my life."