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Joke of the Day

"Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you a flat minor"

"I think the main issue with 'The Hunger Games' is that while her life is at stake, boy problems are still presented as legitimate threats."

"Ever had sex while camping? ... ITS FUCKING INTENTS"

"I'm a chick magnet I repel."

"A lot of you are calling me ""mom"" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old."

"Did you hear about Taco Bell's new sauce? It's picked-out daily south of the border."

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they...lactose... I'm sorry."

"[getting dating advice from my dad] Just be yourself and don't do anything stupid ""Well which one is it?"""

"Damn girl, are you from Tennessee? Cause your the only ten I see"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six offender"