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Joke of the Day

"Stop being so hard on yourself. You don't have to be a complete idiot. Just be the best idiot you can be."

"How do you make a fireman cry? Kill his family."

"To my friend who I cheat at cards against: I'm sorry, but I think uno me well enough."

"My dog is an alcoholic... So he had to be put in the 20 step program."

"BREAKING NEWS: 23 injured while running with bulls. Authorities say injuries happened because folks were stupid enough to run... with bulls."

"hAD SO MYCH COFFEE WHO wantS TO HELP ME STOP KONY LETS GO LETS STEAL A CAR BRO CMON"

"Yo mama's like a mosquito I gotta slap her to stop sucking"

"Why are catholic priests so Eco-friendly? Zero emissions."

"What's the best way to stop a German train? *Axe* them nicely."

"Why didn't the magician shave? He made it disabeard.."