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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a happy programmer and a sad programmer? ""Hello, world"" and ""Goodbye, cruel world"""

"I had sex with somebody and caught their cold. I have snyphilis."

"A guy wire is holding a pole... ...the pole is 10 meters tall, the wire makes a 48^o angle from the ground and the very tip is 7 meters from the pole. How long until the feminists arrive?"

"""I missed you today."" ""Awwww I missed you too."" *both frantically reload dueling pistols*"

"I've decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back"

"In retrospect; being a fat girl, bringing a black & white swimsuit to a water park 2 weeks after a killer whale attack, was a horrible idea."

"A Mexican walks into work..."

"The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it's your day off."

"""Four, five, six, one, two, three, seven, eight, nine, ten! Coming, ready or not!"" George Lucas playing hide and seek"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Beats. Beats who? Beats me."