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Joke of the Day

"I've been ""watching my weight"" and, rest assured, it's still there."

"Joey the marsupial applied for a job to eat eucalyptus leaves all day. However, he was declined due to his lack of koalafications."

"Does anyone need an ark? I noah guy!"

"Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea? Pupil: Dead? I didn't even know he was sick!"

"Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming."

"Facebook taught me to mind everyone else's business."

"I've heard seven cancer jokes today... If I hear tumor, it's gonna benign."

"I just opened an Easy Bake Oven restaurant. Please call your order in, 17 hours prior to your arrival."

"LPT If you are going to have sex with someone you don't know, Always, always, always... Ask"

"""Please don't make a scene."" -Horrible movie director"