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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's Clinton doing to make Americans happy? A: If you've paid your tax bill and have enough money left to feed your family--you're happy."

"What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria? Make way, children."

"You hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a Dog."

"Just realized that I'm technically a vegan for the hours between dinner & breakfast. No wonder I feel so fucking superior all the time"

"Which dinosaur will never be discovered? The Clitaurus"

"What's your best one-liner?"

"What is the best thing about having sex with twenty nine years olds? There are twenty of them."

"When you wish upon a star Makes no difference who you are It's a ball of gas and fire It can't hear you."

"It's actually rude to shoot anyone, messenger or not."

"Why can nobody understand sausages when they talk??? Because they speak in tongs. I'll show myself the door"