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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight... She needs to lighten up."

"Where's the best place to hide after committing a murder? Behind a badge."

"Loomis: Does your dog have a license? Fenton: Hell no! I do all the drivin'."

"A joke I saw today I found my pet mouse Elvis dead today, he was caught in a trap..."

"*works out for six weeks *loses 2 lbs *eats a carrot *gains it back"

"Q: What's the difference between a horse and the weather? A: One is reined up and the other rains down."

"My wife remains very racist in her approach to laundry."

"Doctor: Have you ever had this before? Patient: Yes. Doctor: Well you've got it again!"

"BREAKING: Barack Obama just elected President of the US - Sent from Internet Explorer"

"What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints? With a track-tor!"