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Joke of the Day

"My wife said to take the dogs for a walk because they looked like they needed to go out. But I think they're full of crap."

"Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar."

"Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? In an American nursing home."

"Husband: What would you do if i won the lottery? Wife: I'd take half and leave. Husband: Well here's $6 and you can start packing anytime now."

"What did the constipated mathematician do? He sat down and worked it out with a pencil."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms"

"Saw an old couple arguing at each other in public yesterday Apparently one of them is going to be president"

"What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian? An argument"

"Sure, I can teach you about fractions, kid. Just remember this: There is a very fine line between the numerator and the denominator."

"Knock knock! Who's there Jehovah Witnesses Jehovah Wit... *covers their mouth* SSSHHHhhh There right outside"