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Joke of the Day

"How do you know all chickens are gold-digging size queens? All day long they're talking about ""buck, buck, big cock!"""

"How many Libertarian Capitalists does it take to change a light bulb? I ain't buyin those fancy *Tek-noh-lo-jikal* Big-Government ones. The free market idn't ready."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do i pass by you again."

"*pulls back your shower curtain* What did you mean by ""creepy"""

"Life is so damn funny when you have a dirty mind . . ."

"When I have kids I'm going to tearfully serve them scrambled eggs smothered in ketchup & tell them it's Humpty Dumpty."

"[boss finds pics of me snowboarding] ""You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING"" *fist bump*"

"A sadist joke I thought-up today at 2:20PM Q: Where do happy sadists come from? A: A Sadist-factory! get it? get it?"

"Why do you never wanna see an elevator in a horror game? Cuz you know something's about to go down. Im sorry"

"Titties and explosions. Plot line optional. #HollywoodPostItNote"