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Joke of the Day
"Thanks to Twitter I can tell people I read."
Next Joke
"How many 'Suh Dudes' does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Its already lit, fam."
"When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. That says everything about marriage."
"Why do Trans people hate the former Soviet Republics? [Fucking CIS scum.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealth_of_Independent_States)"
"I wonder what Kirstie Alley is putting frosting on right now."
"Scientists have found the cause of paedophilia. Sexy children."
"I just fired my liquid measurement calibration manager He had really poor litership skills."
"Whenever my anorexic girlfriend says she needs a pee, I never know if she needs the toilet or she's just hungry."
"Told her I'd rather eat laundry than fold it and now I'm having boxers for breakfast."
"When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness."