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Joke of the Day
"Just finished a book about an immortal pet dog. I couldn't put it down."
Next Joke
"Kids go as the devil and bigfoot on Halloween all the time, but I go as a pedophile and suddenly I'm a weirdo."
"Ugh! I always think of the best comebacks when I'm burying the body."
"What do you call an African-American baby that has tragically died and now has it's wings ? A bat."
"I want to press charges on Santa If he knows when I'm sleeping, and he knows when I'm awake, that has to be considered stocking."
"People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up"
"Next time you see someone crying Ask them if it's because of their haircut"
"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac? A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog."
"A Mexican walks into a bar The bartender says ""You can stay, but you must sit behind that wall over there."""
"I think my dad messed up the ""birds & bees"" talk when I was a kid because now I can't look at a sparrow without getting horny."