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Joke of the Day

"People who get offended when I breast feed publicly can fuck off What I'm doing is totally natural and strengthens the relationship between me and my dog"

"Why didn't they punish the student who hung himself? He was already suspended."

"Why did the man vomit after eating Middle Eastern food? It made his stomach falafel."

"Tourist: What's the speed limit in this hick town? Native: We don't have one. You strangers can't get out of here fast enough for us."

"Did you hear about the fat absent father? He was never around, but at least he was portly."

"What do you call the boyfriend of a beheaded prositute? The headless whore's man"

"What does a hooker get from Santa? 50 bucks"

"Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider? A: ""Life is like a box of chocolates..."" (Source: F. Gump of Intel)"

"If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant? Mariska Hargitay"

"My wife just found a pretzel in her hair and then she ate it and I didn't know I could love her more."