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Joke of the Day

"Wasn't doing much, so submitting a funny link on reddit.. You are doing that too much. Try again later."

"Why do people looking for motivational seminars and people attending bodybuilding competitions keep accidentally going to each other's events? They both want personal growth."

"I picked up a girl at a bar. She told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I screwed her three times and hit her with a brick."

"Direct from my 8-year old: How do nursing babies blow their noses? With breast tissue."

"Instead of going to college, just read a pile of books and barely do your laundry. Same thing."

"I slept with my best mate's wife last night and now I feel terrible. She must have given me a cold or something."

"Live this day as if it is your last. And if it turns out it isn't, make a great many apologies tomorrow."

"What is a jewish golfer's favorite vegetable? A parsnip."

"If you took all of the poops everyone on earth made in a single day and laid them end to end, wash your hands."

"Costs of living are so high that my wife sleeps with me again She can't afford new pair of batteries"