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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you take your clothes off while riding the elevator? It could get you an in descent exposure charge."

"Have I told ya my pizza joke? Augh nvm, its probably too cheesy"

"Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll."

"Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper"

"""Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly"" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* ""Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"""

"Half of all marriages end in divorce... The other half end in death."

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob."

"Umm if Jesus only died for my sins to manipulate me into joining his religion maybe he's not such a ""nice guy"""

"Saw a chameleon today, so I'm assuming it wasn't a very good one."

"What do you call it when a doctor gives up halfway through an abortion? A portion."