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Joke of the Day

"The worst thing you can be is gullible My friend told me that means you're prone to random attacks by seagulls"

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"Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby? They always turn out blurry from him shaking them."
"Why do they use liquid soap in the Navy? It takes longer to pick up"
"You know it's a crazy party when the toilets smell less of puke than the dancefloor."
"A child asks his father: Why is grandpa running daddy? Shut up son, and give me another shell."
"ariana grande looks like she was designed in a lab by japanese perverts"
"What is 90-60-90? Speed while driving past a speed camera."
"if i had a dollar for every time i had sex i'd be homeless"
"I've spent the last hour masturbating on the couch. This psychiatrist seems to be taking a lot of notes."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get some chicks. (nephew made this joke, he's 5 years old :o)"